Virginia Trip Recap

I think it’s safe to say that our first family Roadtrip (yes, that’s “Roadtrip” with a capital “R”) was a success.  We spent most of 5 days in a car together.  No one got eaten, the question “are we there yet?” was only asked once, and we only got lost twice (each time for about 5 minutes before finding our way again).

Along the way, I picked up several amusing bits.  The first batch are funny quotes:

Hi.  I’m Lucy.  We’re sitting here.  And this is my mom.  And this is my dad.

– Lucy, at a restaurant.

I’m liking how Ohio treats rivers.

– CJ, over the Sandusky River.  CJ does not like driving over bridges where she can see how far down things go (or alternately, how far up we are).  She likes to be as far away from the edges as possible, have high steel-reinforced concrete barriers protecting her from the edge, and have a solid road to drive over (none of that see-through grating junk).  Ohio passed her test.

CJ: “What else would you like to see?”
Me: “I’d be happy reading each and every sign in the building.”

– This was after walking through the National Air & Space Museum Extension at Dulles for a half an hour.  I was a kid again, and just wanted to see all of the planes and space ships.  And I do mean “ALL”.

Where are they getting the panda heads?!?

– I forget who asked this question first, but we were all asking it by the end.  My brother had a game for the Wii where you were getting soccer balls kicked toward you, and you had to lean to return the kick.  To make the game more challenging, some of the soccer players would lose their shoes, so you had to avoid those.  To make it INSANE, a panda head (since it was also black and white) would sometimes come flying at you.  Not the whole panda – just the head.  After the first couple of head shots (ahem), Katherine was laughing too hard to actually play the game very effectively.

***

The second batch are some of the signage we passed:

Beef Jerky Unlimited.  We are not a gas station.

– On US-23.  How many people have to come into your beef jerky store asking where the gas pumps are to make it worth your while to update your billboard to tell them “THERE ARE NO GAS PUMPS HERE”?

We passed mile marker 33.  We have to go to 232?!?  Let’s hope the numbering restarts.

– Also on US-23.  It did, at 234.

Falling rocks.

– In Pennsylvania.  This was good to know.  Several portions of the road were actually fenced in, to keep the rockage back.

High Cross Winds

– Also in Pennsylvania.  Also good to know. 

Left turns and cross traffic.

– In Pennsylvania.  This was literally all the sign said, and we still don’t know what it meant.

School bus crossing.

– In Pennsylvania.  They DO move in herds.  (To be fair, I think I’ve seen signs like this in Michigan, so I can’t pick on Pennsylvania too heavily – at least not for THIS sign.)

{Truck} 800 ft

– In Pennsylvania.  The “{Truck}” was actually the drawing of a truck.  Either there’s going to be a truck in 800 feet, or there’s going to be an 800-foot truck soon.

High DUI Crash Area.

– In Pennsylvania.  Um…

Aggressive Driver High Crash Area.

– In Pennsylvania.  Um…  Ok, so apparently DUI and road rage are problems so prevalent in parts of Pennsylvania that they’ve stopped policing them and decided it was a better use of state tax dollars to just warn all of the other drives on the road about them.  Terrific.

Alternate Right of Way.  TAKE TURNS

– In Maryland.  Yes, the “TAKE TURNS” was actually put in all caps.  Both speed AND manners will be strictly enforced for the next three miles.

***

The final group are some random amusing memories from the vacation:

Lucy got some mad giggles out of Alex by putting a lid (from like a plastic butter container) on the recycling bin, and watching it slide off.  They were at this for a good 5 minutes.

At the Air & Space museum, Lucy saw Katherine playing with an interactive touch-screen kiosk.  From that point on, Lucy tried to poke and prod every sign in the place, treating them all like touch screens.

At the tip of a switchback in the Alleghany Mountains there was a building: “Oriental Rug Cleaner”.  You must journey to NEAR the top of the mountain, just before you get to the all-knowing zen guru – that’s where you have to take my door mat.

We stayed at Great Wolf Lodge in Sandusky, Ohio for a night, and played in the water park.  When we first arrived, we saw a sign explaining that they used an infant dummy named “Timmy” to test and train their lifeguards, so if you see this doll floating in one of the pools, don’t panic – let the lifeguards deal with it.  The day we were checking out, we had lunch in the water park, and while we were sitting there we saw one of the lifeguards army crawling toward one of the pools, with “Timmy” in tow.  He snuck up behind a fake rock and was peeking around it, waiting for the two lifeguards watching that particular pool to look away.  He had to wait for a good couple of minutes before he found his opening, and then hurled poor “Timmy” up and over the rock like a grenade.  It made a large splash, which instantly drew the attention of the closer of the two guards.  That guard looked at “Timmy” for about a second, blew his whistle very loudly, and jumped in for the rescue.

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