I got a call from CJ this morning. "Hi," she began, VERY dryly. "I need ideas."
"Um, ok." I replied.
"We have a very handsome black spider now living in our dishwasher. And by ‘in’ I mean it was sitting on top of the open door when I walked into the kitchen, and jumped into the latching mechanism when I tried to kill him. So he’s literally IN THE DOOR."
"Oh jeez. Well, short of taking the door apart, I don’t know how else we could get him out."
Moment of silence. "So he’s in there until he decides to come out on his own?"
"I think so. I can’t think of any other way."
"Ok, " she replied. "Second question, should I rerun the dishwasher?"
I chuckled. "Yeah, probably."
"OK, I’ll do that, and he’ll just be waiting for you when you get home," she sweetly responds.
"Hey! Now wait a minute – no one said THAT was part of the deal!"
She laughed. "I’m just kidding. Don’t worry, he’s smaller than a dime. I’ll keep an eye out for him."
About 20 minutes later I get a text message from CJ:
"He did not like hot dishwasher, and so now lives under the fridge. Fast lil sob."
Great. A spider with the powers of Harry Houdini. How could this get any bett-
Wait – scratch that. Asking that question would just make him sprout wings.
And breath fire.