A very handsome black spider

I got a call from CJ this morning.  "Hi," she began, VERY dryly.  "I need ideas."

"Um, ok."  I replied.

"We have a very handsome black spider now living in our dishwasher.  And by ‘in’ I mean it was sitting on top of the open door when I walked into the kitchen, and jumped into the latching mechanism when I tried to kill him.  So he’s literally IN THE DOOR."

"Oh jeez.  Well, short of taking the door apart, I don’t know how else we could get him out."

Moment of silence.  "So he’s in there until he decides to come out on his own?"

"I think so.  I can’t think of any other way."

"Ok, " she replied.  "Second question, should I rerun the dishwasher?"

I chuckled.  "Yeah, probably."

"OK, I’ll do that, and he’ll just be waiting for you when you get home," she sweetly responds.

"Hey!  Now wait a minute – no one said THAT was part of the deal!"

She laughed.  "I’m just kidding.  Don’t worry, he’s smaller than a dime.  I’ll keep an eye out for him."

About 20 minutes later I get a text message from CJ:

"He did not like hot dishwasher, and so now lives under the fridge.  Fast lil sob."

Great.  A spider with the powers of Harry Houdini.  How could this get any bett-

Wait – scratch that.  Asking that question would just make him sprout wings. 

And breath fire.

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